past thoughts
26 March…
morning blues : called her and talked nothing… then came that destruction from the heavens. yep, its all gone, but still, i wonder why i dont feel sad, or whatever that is, its like there’s no sad thoughts.. not like when i got the “no” by ling. being alone is part of life, friends are here to keep us along, i guess, the number of friends i actually have can be counted using 2 hands.
heh, after looking back at march 26′s post, i suddenly felt that then hurt more than the ‘no’ by ling, i wonder, being alone… oh well, i felt that then i was lifeless, no more meaning to live on… yet i didn’t realise that there’s a significant lil thing that pushed me on. till now, er, at least till may 27. oh well, that significant lil thing still pushes me on, just that it has grown a lil teeny weeny bit larger.. thanks a lot. polytechnic life, some place where people say friends there are very limited, i wonder, how much will my class bond? and now, what i am afraid is, my friends slowly “open” up me, and find out what i am.. what i really am…, rather, my old self. i need to move on from that old self. so far, i can say that i have moved on, much. oh well, shall lookback at my blogs once in a while. without this blog, i think i would still have been the old self. being such a pessimistic and dejected person. thinking that everything is boredoom and sadness. fun and joy. and the essence of her presence, that’s a lot..
Medrio Xylenus