it is funny why i am usually trying to engage people into conversations,
but with you there is always this awkward silence between us.
yet i don’t want this to be just being silent.

i wonder, how much more, i will do, for you?

.loong

.loong

these few days pretty blur leh, got friend low in spirits, broke up bla bla and feel unfair cause the guy didn’t do stuffs that he is doing for another girl now…

then i kan bo liao i go search for my ex nick in google.. then memories again lor.. sigh.

Memories that are sweet .. WOOT MAELSTROM IS UP. ok i go finish up my msn talk and i go in liao MUAHAHAHA,…

-wL

and i think i found out that when i broke up, probably that might be the feeling for a while, i don’t know, but i guess it might have been that way.  have i loved someone who i am not supposed to?

Heartbroken:

A feeling of enormious pain that is more then anything imaginable. It cannot be cured by medicine, or treated by anything but time. For those that know this feeling too well, it is not a physical pain that can be described, but soemething deep inside. Breathing gets hard, eating becomes tasteless, and love, well, what is love anymore. You forget. Yet you remember, remember how to love, and who you love – which makes it hurt so bad. Let it go people say, but how can you. Feelings are feelings, and you love who you love. Heartbrakes occur most when you love someone you are not suppose to.

oh. chalet. something i must definitely type about lol. the past few days i was at a chalet, and well, it’s with the apostles community, more and more of us are attending chalets i guess, even one of us from Shanghai came here, and another one from KL, heh. sounds fun eh… most of the time we are slacking around, but drinking games are really the best games i guess, first night with WATER, then second night with alcohol, while third night is new year, so yeah, just beer. i think that’s my first hangover heh. feel really lousy on the day after that, luckily its time to go…

chalet… oh well, there’s my ex and her “new” boyfriend, not knowing how long she’s with him though, probably a month or so i guess, looking at the boyfriend being pulled around for a brief moment, i somehow kind of looked at myself then, but now with a different PoV, memories? doubt will ever be dug up again, keeping her 2 bottles worth of her “love” then really sounds meaningless, however still in my room, just kept in a drawer.. there’s still her err .. something bozu.. that keeps off the rain, no matter how much my dad destroyed it it’s still there. what i truely hope for her, would be that she will be more patient and less snappy, and stop throwing tantrums… i don’t know, feeling concerned and all, but no longer harboring any feelings. just concerned like for a friend? obviously i still kept the broken necklace she broke, i remembered my heart cried that night and it went more or less dead, towards her… that’s why i feel very upset, have i hurt her? to destroy something worth of such a value… but well, too bad then, whatever’s over is over. i promised myself to forget about her and move on, i can’t believe i actually did lol.. i think?

next i realised that i like hugs :/, after reading lots of blogs.. hugs are like.. warmth… i miss them… alot heh.. sigh.. aircon blowing hard >.>; 25 deg and i can’t be bothered to actually switch it down…

- weiloong

081001 (just some notes i’m jotting down)

Regarding ramblings, i guess i have nothing much to grumble and ramble about, since there’s nothing much i really looked forward to in this whole year, other than moving on, and trying to forget some times that has passed. It may seem to come back again, but well, what’s over is over, and i’ll not step backwards, unless there’s an absolute necessary.

About “Her”, i don’t know how many hers’ am i looking at, or talking about. I realised that i have moved on, but more like crushing on another, and another… what am i thinking :/, but guess ’07 will be a new start, so yeah. oh, looks like a previous of the “her” found another mate, hope the mate will treausure her more than what i did, and that she has a little more tolerance probably…

thoughts and personal spaces! ok. nothing

WoW. err. with the insane amount of lag i can’t do anything, so ya. screw it. i paid for the dumb wow subscription and forget to cancel it. starhub jiayou >_>;

Same as when i see people get hurt… What do I do? I listen to people.. but who listens to me when i need to pour my feelings? I am at a loss. Damn. Things that are so near, yet so far. I could grasp it within reach, but would it allow me to grasp onto it? or would it just, fly by and it gets forgotten through the years…?

I wonder. Missing someone is miserable. I don't want to have these kind of feeling… My true self? I don't know. Facades I have worn has counted too many to describe. Online, I don't even know what is myself. I miss her…? Guess so. Argh…